Valentine’s Day #50, Still Single

Another Valentine’s Day has arrived and soon to follow my 51st Birthday. I am reminded of my single status once again.

Growing up as a young girl marriage was very much a part of your future. So much so, if you were not married by the time you turned 40 you were considered an old maid. Young girls were given hope chests to begin collecting items for the house they would one day share with a husband. I personally thought I would be married by now, but no. I have been asked 3 times and engaged twice. Once I said no, one he postponed and then cheated on me, the other I walked away.

I owned a bakery and made countless wedding cakes for ten years in a small town. Young girls would come in doe eyed with the fantasy of marriage. I cannot begin to tell you how many of these girls I wanted to tell to run, that they should take time to know themselves first. Think about it, you are born into this world, you have 1-2 adults raising you, telling you what to do and what they expect from you. For 13 of those years you attend a school that also molds you into what they think you should be, what they think you need to learn and how you should learn it. You get punished by the adults raising you or the school you attend when you do not do things the way they expect you too. Why on earth would you run off and get married within few years of gaining your freedom?

This year, my 50th Valentine’s Day, I am finally no longer asking what is wrong with me or why am I still single. I am embracing my life of being independently owned and operated. Thankful for the ability to raise an amazing young confident woman who is living life to the fullest. If not for being single chances are I would not have experienced the life I have lived over the past 11 years. Had I been married when my daughter left for college, I likely would not have sold my business and

2019 is a new year for all of us living happy single lives. It is time for society to accept we are here and here to stay. Life is no longer about finding your soulmate and getting married. Life is about finding your own soul and what makes you tick as an individual. Being able to be alone with yourself and still be happy. Having a freedom many will never know.

I may not have a significant other but what I do have is a significant circle of friends full of love and ready to give love whenever needed. For those who are single this Valentine’s, find the blessings in your everyday life, forget what the media and society is feeding you. Stand in your singlehood, embrace it, there are a lot of people out there who rushed into marriage thinking they needed a partner, wishing they were still single. Spread some love to those in need today and remind them love is all around.


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