Days like today… I wish I didn’t exist. Not a suicidal thought. Just a thought passing through my mind. It has been almost four months since I worked regularly. Three months since I received a paycheck. Friends I thought I had are no longer.
Days like today I ask myself what the fuck and why? What am I waiting for and why? I know I chose this life I live, but right now it is hard. I am tired of being strong and holding myself up. I am tired of being alone and waiting for my soul mate to arrive. I do not know what to do. I feel so lost. I work so hard to stay positive in these times, living moments of gratitude for the kind people in my life and a roof over my head.
My heart is hurts and is beating out of my chest. I know people in this world have it worse, but today this is my battle. Tomorrow I pray to be free…
Hang in there. I’m one of many people who believe in you.
Hi Gemma, Thank you for your belief in me. Today is a better day. By my expression I think it is important for people to know there are days like that and it is okay. These days pass. Grateful I have the tools and supportive people like you to not allow myself to become a victim to my thoughts. Sherri