Struggles with emotions and a visit to the US

In this journey to fulfill my vision for the future I feel a stronger urge to stay on my path. As of late I have been going through a series of struggles in regards to my emotions and the things that are coming up. I appear to be activating triggers from my past and it is forcing me to deal with them. Hence my absence.

I turned 50 a couple of weeks ago. It was a year ago I had plans for me and my girlfriends to meet in Mexico, two weeks before it was approaching I had no plans at all. I did ask the guy I am seeing to take the night off and the next day to celebrate with me. During one of our evenings together he informed me he may not be able to get the time off. I was devastated and finding myself headed down a bad road. My best friend back home recognized that and offered to buy me a plane ticket home for my birthday. I had not been in South Carolina since I left in November 2014, felt it would be good for me and I thought spending time with my best friend would do me some good.

I forget how overwhelming it can be for me to go back to the States and how simple my life on Cayman truly is. It is amazing to step back into American society and see the puppets the population is becoming. I am sorry if I offend anyone but the amount of shit being sold to you is mind-boggling. People are so overly stimulated and under nourished they cannot function outside of the same routine everyday. Televisions are on in every household and in more than one room as is computers and a cell phone in hand or very close by. The media is telling you what to eat and the processed food companies are ready to meet the needs of whatever they are selling. No one knows how to cook anymore and their lives are so busy instead of taking the time to prepare a proper meal the family eats out or reaches for the ready made meal from the grocery store. I am a Chef/Baker and I can tell you, you are not always being fed what you think you are being fed. The lack of knowledge in regards to what a person eats and how it feeds you is mind staggering. What people think is healthy vs what really is… Home economics are no longer required in school. More girls are career bound, life is too busy to stay home and cook. Or people are under the notion that “real” food is more expensive and without effort reach for processed food that will in turn make you sick in the long run and lead to higher medical bills and a built up need for prescription medication to help you feel better. Wake the FUCK up…. recognize that the industrialized processed food you eat is killing you.